Malaking Pagbabago pt. 1

Malaking Pagbabago

by: Jinwoo (Codename)

 

Noong ako’y mas bata pa, palagi akong binubully ng mga kaklase ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit nila ako binubully, kaya bawat moment na tinitingnan nila ako ay napapaisip ako; ano ba ang mali sa akin? Bakit ba ganoon na lang nila ako husgahan?

Tatlong taon pa lang kaming magkakaklase ngunit sila’y nanghuhusga na parang kilala na nila ako sa buong buhay ko. Isa lamang akong simpleng taong naghahangad na magkaroon ng madaming mga kaibigan upang umunlad naman ang aking social life.

Isang beses, umalis ang aking kaibigan na katabi ko sa loob ng classroom. Sabi niya, “Uy, aalis lang ako at bibili lang ng pagkain sa canteen. Bye!”.

Tumango na lang ako at nagpaalam sa kanya. Mga ilang minuto matapos siyang umalis, sinitsitan naman ako ng isa kong kaklase. “Pssst, Jinwoo!”

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang ang sumisitsit pala sa akin ay ang bully kong kaklase. Once na siya ay nagkaroon ng interes na ikaw ay pagtripan, hindi ka na niya titigilan. Hindi lamang ako ang kanyang nabiktima, kundi parang halos kalahati na sa populasyon namin sa loob ng aming silid-aralan.

Many people hated him for bullying and other reasons. Sobra daw niyang yabang, at akala mo’y may maipagmamalaki siya. Ayon sa mga kaklase ko, siya ay mayaman ngunit nakakakuha sila ng pera mula sa binibigay ng pamahalaan na libreng pera para sa mga mahihirap. Mahirap nang maniwala dahil hindi mo alam kung ano ba talaga ang katotohanan.

But let’s go back to the scene. Noong sinitsitan niya ako ay kaagad naman akong lumingon sa kanya. Masama ang tingin niya sa akin, at doon na lumakas ang kabog ng dibdib ko. Halos lahat ng mga kaklase kong nasa loob ng silid-aralan ay nakatingin sa akin at sa kanya. Kinuha niya ang atensyon ng buong kwarto.

“Sino nga pala ang nasa row three na sobrang pangit, lalambot-lambot at iyakin? Para sa isa pang hint, nasa likuran siya!” sigaw niya. Tumingin naman sa akin ang mga kaklase ko. Sila’y nagsi-tawanan. Wala akong nagawa. Hindi ako ang type ng tao na kapag inaaway ay lumalaban. Ang aking ginagawa ay nagkukulong sa isang sulok, umiiyak at minsan ay sinasaktan ang sarili.

Ako ay tumayo at nagtungo sa likuran ng silid-aralan namin. Ramdam ko ang tingin at halakhak ng mga kaklase ko sa narinig nila. Ito namang nambully sa ‘kin ay tawa lang nang tawa at gumagawa siya ng nakakatawang mukha.

Nagkulong ako sa loob ng banyo ng classroom namin. Hindi ko na naririnig ang tawanan nila. Nandito ako, iyak nang iyak at sinasaktan ko na ang sarili ko. Kinakalmot ko ang aking balat, hinahampas ko ang aking sarili at nagsasalita na para bang may kausap ako.

Ang nasa isipan ko noong oras na ‘yan ay, “Sana hindi na lang ako ipinanganak sa mundong ito. Magiging mas maayos pa sana ang buhay nila kung wala ako sa mundong ito. Maganda sana kung hindi na nila ako makita nang sa gayon ay tumigil na sila sa ginagawa nila.”

Hinablot ko ang aking cellphone at tumawag sa magulang ko. Hindi lamang ito ang unang beses na binully ako nitong lalaking ito, ngunit maraming beses na rin.

Hindi ko alam ngunit bakit ako nasasaktan sa bagay na hindi naman totoo?

Dahil sa sobrang galit nang nalaman ito ng aking magulang, hindi na napigilan ng aking Ina ang aking Ama na magpunta sa eskwelahan at kinausap ang guro ko tungkol doon.

Akala ko, doon na matatapos ang mga pangyayaring ganoon, ngunit ako’y nagkakamali.

TO BE CONTINUED

 

Brain’s Worst Parasites: Bullying

I can interpret bullying as a parasite of the brain. The worst parasite.

Starting this opinionated blog post, I wanted to say that this is my opinions and I hope you would not get mad about it. I’m just clearly writing something as I feel.

 

Brain Deficiency: Judgment based on gender

I experienced this one. Many people do think that I am not a normal person—they thought that I am something that I will never be. This is one of the deficiencies of the human mind is the judgment for a person’s gender.

If you judge a person by their gender; you are judging them for what you see. And that will not affect him or her because he/she is not that kind of person. If you throw that against a person, you would look like a sick bastard that is worse than Hitler.

A person could determine what they are and what they’re in, so why are you going to be the one to say something that they are not? Surely, you are a grumpy, and judgmental person. If you are trying to bring a person down, you can’t be on the top of them. And you could do it without judging and hurting anyone’s feelings.

 

Brain Deficiency: Judgment based on personality

I second the motion. I also am judged by this basis; my personality. I am a kind of person who is somewhat of a happy-go-lucky. Friends of mine judge me with this basis.

To start of, I can describe myself as a writer and a K-Pop fan. But would that really affect much of the impressions of people towards me?

Many girls do love writing and being a K-Pop fan. But would that take my manhood away? Nope, I wanted to say no. I am still a boy. Are there some limitations for boys to be a writer on a website called wattpad and K-Pop Fan? Most of the people who bully me were people who tends to love basketball and other things.

We love something from what we observed. And that DOES NOT take us from being a human. Humanity is almost out of my mind when I discovered that this is the basis of people judging me. I know that it’s their opinion, but I also have an opinion. If your opinion is bad for me, then it’s bad! It’s as easy as that. It is not from what you see and observe; you should try more investigations rather than jumping at conclusions without a complex evidences.

 

Conclusion

Bullying is the worst part of life. You are almost killing the person by stabbing them not with a knife—hence, you are stabbing them by your words.

You can say the thing you wanted to say to them from what you observed BUT in a nice way. You should not hide it from the person you are referring to. Remember, a criticism must be a good example because that would help the person to change that thing.

#StopBullying

Posted: September 30, 2016

Tears in Heaven

Prologue

PS. I am trying hard in English. Thank you very much. Please be aware that I am not fluent with this language.

 

~o~

 

CJ is a guy who wanted to end his life. It is as if he had all the downs because of the past events that happened to him. He had no choice but to die of sadness or just hang himself. Moving on is not a must for him. It’s just an impossible thing for him.

Despite of all the negative things he wanted to do, there was always a girl who stopped him. Little did he know that the girl was constantly dying day by day.

The girl taught him the meaning of life. “The meaning of life is to give life a meaning.”

“How could you kill yourself?! Don’t you know the feelings of the people who wanted to live longer but they’re almost dying? Those who wanted to die tend to live longer! Don’t you just waste your life doing that! It’s a sin, you nega!“

Then and Now

Then and now.

Let the story unfold..

 

 

BEGINNING

June 28, 2015. The real Annelise wrote the names of the Royalties. That time, I only had 20 Followers on wattpad. I’m so proud of myself even if I’m not that famous. I’m still beginning to learn more things about writing – and that time, when I saw the names – I thought of something special – a wattpad story, wouldn’t that be unique, heh?

I said, “Can I borrow your pad paper?” she gave me the pad paper and then I saw the names. They’re quite unique. But I saw Chase Armitage and Annelise Henrickson with the real people.

So, if the story WOULD get published, I should take time in replacing a new name for them. Last name for Chase and Annelise and also for Aiden – because Chase’s brother is Aiden. Chase Armitage name and Annelise Henrickson’s will stay for a while and I will post a new one – a new and improved Royalty of Hearts.

There was a thing entitled in the paper, Royalty of Hearts. So that day, I named the story Royalty of Hearts. But then, the new grade’s been so hard, so I drafted it for almost two days.

 

June 30, 2015. This is the date when the story is posted at wattpad. For an hour, it got 10 reads. I was so proud of myself. I think I’m the best writer in the world. That day only. -_-. I’m really ashamed of my personality that day.

 

July 1, 2015 – September 30, 2015. The story got 300 reads and that time, I was the happiest person in the world. I’m always dreaming that I will be a great author some day but I think 300 is not enough for having a big audience.

Starting the first week of the story, it had beautiful covers. It was made by @dumbhyungs, @jeminah-.

I can do it.

 

October 2015 – Until now. The story got thousands of reads, fans, and hundreds of votes. I think it would reach my ‘wanted’ number for the votes.

 

That’s the end of the – I mean still in the climax of the story.

 

 

Royalty of Hearts: Chapter Forty – Two

Chapter Forty – Two

 

Note: Nakita niyo na ang sneak peek ng chapter na ito? Finally, ito na ang chapter. HEHEHE.

 

***

 

CLARICE’s Point of View

 

“Are you joking, Titus? Dinner date? Hindi pa ako nakakasama sa mga date na ganyan ganyan, ha? Pero I’ll try to ask my mother if pwede akong pumunta dito sa tinatawag mong dinner date.”  Halos rumolyo ang mata ko dahil sa pinagsasabi ni Titus.

“Mukha ba akong clown para mag-joke, Clarice? At saka ‘wag kang maging feeling. Para lang magkaroon ng world peace. Tss.” Nasa labas kami ng classroom.  Tapos na ang klase namin. 3’o clock na ang oras ngayon.

“Alam kong hindi ka clown,  pero bakit kailangan mo gawin ‘to, Titus?” nagtataka nanaman ako sa sinasabi niya. Dinner date? Alam kong may gusto siya sa akin, I never expected na magdedate kami?

“Gusto kitang ihatid sa bahay ninyo, I mean sa mansion ninyo.” sabi niya sa akin.

“N-no need. I can manage.” naglakad ako pero hinarangan naman niya ako. “Sa ayaw mo at sa gusto mo, sasama ka sa akin. Ayaw kitang gumastos, okay? Gusto kitang makita na buo pa sa dinner, okay?”

Akala ko ay nagjojoke lang siya sa akin, pero tinotoo niya talaga. Ang creepy lang. “Sakay,” binuksan niya ‘yung pinto ng sasakyan. Bagong bago ang sasakyan niya. Siguro mga one week na ‘tong sasakyan na ito?

“T-teka lang Titus, ano ba ang trip mo? Nakakatakot ka naman, e. You’re freaking me out. Ano ba ang rason mo?” As if naman na maging mabait siya sa akin.

“Hindi ito trip. Pasalamat ka nga at naka-free ride ka pa, e. Gusto ko lang maka-ride ang isang tao sa aking bagong sasakyan. My Dad gave me money, kaya ‘yan, naka-bili ako ng bagong car ko instead of motorcycle.” sabi niya at nag-focus ulit sa pag-da-drive niya.

“Akala ko naman ano,” napa-tigil ako saglit. Sheesh! Masyadong bastos ang naiisip ko. Okay, balik muna sa aking innocent mind. Inhale, exhale. “Anong akala mo? Rape? Tss. Asa ka naman. Gusto mo lang kasi mahawakan ang katawan ko. Tss. Na-adik ka siguro noong nag-motor tayo.”

“H-hindi kaya!” sigaw ko at saka hinampas ang kanyang braso. “Tss, hapon na hapon, ang aga mong manyansing. Tss.”

“Hoy, ano ba, hindi kamo ako nanyanyansing. Asa ka naman hawakan ko ang katawan mo. Mala-ipis naman ang katawan mo, ‘wag ka na lang. Baka mamaya ma-hawa ako sa ‘yo.” natatawa ako dahil sa kanyang pinag-sa-sabi. Parang ewan, e.

“Hindi mala-ipis ang aking katawan. Naliligo ako everyday. Gusto mo nga, ipakita ko kung paano ako maligo sa ‘yo.”

“Ew! Pervert!” sigaw ko at saka nakarating na ‘din kami sa aming bahay. Na-miss ko ang bahay namin.

“Sige, thank you na lang sa libreng ride. Sa susunod na lang. Bye!” sigaw ko sa kanya. Kahit bukas na ang gate namin at nasa loob na ako, hindi pa ‘rin siya naalis.

“Bakit hindi ka pa naalis? Ano pa ba ang kailangan mo sa akin or anything sa aming pamilya?” tanong ko sa kanya at siya naman ‘tong naka-ngisi. Wala akong ginagawang kahit ano tapos naka-ngisi lang siya sa akin. Tss.

“Wala ‘am lang bang goodbye kiss? Sayang naman ang labi ko para hindi mo ako bigyan ng halik. Bilis na, bilang kabayaran sa libreng sakay, okay?” sabi niya at ako naman ‘tong naka-irap dahil sa kanyang kahibangan. Seriously, hindi ko alam kung tao ba ‘to or what.

“Oh, heto.” binigyan ko siya ng flying kiss. Tss. Nadidiri ako right now. You know that feeling?

“Ay, mas sincere kapag sa labi ko talaga.” sabi niya at pumasok na ako at isinara ang gate. “Bye, Clarice! Labyu!”

Narinig kong humarurot na ang kanyang sasakyan at ako naman ay pumasok sa aming bahay. Bwisit. Sira nanaman ang araw ko dahil sa kanya. Umulan bigla ng malakas. Maigi na lang ay nasa loob na ako ng house namin.

“Good afternoon, yaya!” sigaw ko at saka tumaas ako sa staircase at nagpunta sa aking room. Inilapag ako ang aking bag doon at nag-palit ng aking damit. Sinuklay ko ‘din ang aking buhok dahil masyadong magulo na ang aking buhok.

Biglang nag-vibrate ang phone ko. Chineck ko ito nang matapos ko nang ayusin ang aking buhok.

Text from 0929-xxx-xxxx

Don’t forget about the date, honey? Maghihintay ako sa ‘yo mamaya sa labas ng bahay ninyo dahil naka-usap ko na ang Mommy mo. Nasa labas pa siya ng bahay ninyo at may hawak siyang mga shopping bags. Don’t believe me? Tignan mo sa baba.

Hindi talaga ako naniniwala sa ‘yo, freak! Pumunta ako doon sa terraist ko at saka nakita ko nga si Mommy na may hawak na shopping bags. Luh! Tama nga pala ang sinabi ni Titus! Waah! Ayaw kong pumunta kasama si Titus sa isang place dahil baka pagsamantalahan ako, maganda pa naman ako, chos.

Bumaba ako para i-confirm kung totoo ba ang sinabi ni Titus. Nakita kong inilapag ni Mommy ang kanyang mga shopping bags. “Ay, Clarice, baby girl, sabi nga pala ni Titus, ‘yung may gusto sa ‘yo, ay kung pwede ‘daw isama ka niya sa isang dinner. Sabi ko naman ay pwede kang sumama sa kanya pero dapat makabalik ka ng buo dito.”

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. Shit! Ayaw ko talagang sumama sa kanya pero dahil pumayag na si Mommy, wala na. Sayang talaga. “O-ok, mom.” sabi ko at saka tumaas na.

 

▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬

Nakapag-damit na ako para doon sa ‘dinner date’ ‘daw namin ni Titus. Kanina pa ako naghihintay at ang lagay naman ngayon ay nandito na siya. “You’re early.”

“You’re late.” ano ‘to? Ginagaya ‘yung commercial na gatas? Tss.

Pumunta na ako doon at natatandaan ko nanaman noon ng nagpunta kami sa isang place gamit ang kanyang motor. The most embarrassing moment in my life.

‘Yung accidental kiss? I hate that! Ayaw kong makuha ng tao ang aking first kiss. Dapat ‘yung deserving para sa akin. Pero ang tanong, deserving ba si Titus? Yes or no? Maybe yes, maybe no.

Nagpunta ako doon sa harap ng kanyang kotse at saka binuksan niya ang pinto ng uupuan ko. Nasa back ako at siya naman ‘tong nasa harap kasama ang kanyang kapatid. Alam kong utusan lang niya si William.

“Wil, bakit ka kasama?” tanong ko.

“Andun ‘din ang Royalties, pero kayong dalawa lang ang mag-di-dinner. Kaming 10 ang share sa table for ten.”

No!

Forgotten

On my story, Royalty of Hearts the concept I wanted was forgotten. I’m not a great writer, of course. I have read something that said, you need to take notes of everything. 

 

So, I’ll leave notes here 🙂

 

Future Chapters:

1. Ashtyn Montgomery – maybe, a new rival? Somewhat a bitch, or pabebe girl? Oh, and yeah. She may be the girl who Edward had relationship with. Bright idea.
2. Hailey Summers – Waah! I want na to do this. The founder of Chase fanatics, because nothing happened in their first five chapters.
3. Oceana Summers – William will be so cold when it comes to her. He became paranoid when the words that have the same pronunciation but different meaning (homonyms) like ocean, oceania and other words.
4. Annelise Henrickson – She will still love her ex, like ‘my ex, still my next?!’ so, be awared with that, okay?

 

I’m not excited with the ending of the story. Nooo! It can’t be. There will be three special chapters for Annelise, Aiden and Claire.

My Favorite Royalty of Hearts Couples

 

My favorite couples in Royalty of Hearts by far, are OliVin and ChaIley. I’ve enjoyed making OliVin and ChaIley’s Chapter. Even on my phone, but there are lots of typo errors. The first picture, OliVin and second, ChaIley.

 

Making chapters is my comfort zone. I don’t know why I’m making sad or bad endings for other characters, it’s just in my mind like; TiRice in the first one. It’s chapter 11-15.

 

For Chapter 30, it’s not a bad ending, in the end, he found out that Oceana loves her. That’s it.

 

My next plan for ChaIley is uhm, a bit of jealousy? I don’t know why because it’s their chapter and WTH there are no struggles for real? WTF.

 

Royalty of Hearts: Chapter Forty-Two Sneak Peek

This day, my story Royalty of Hearts have reached 3,500 reads and 600 votes. I’m so glad that it reached the peak of that number of reads. I hope it gets as many as that. However, this is just a sneak peek of the chapter I’m making. Also my second post here on my blog.

 

***

CLARICE’s Point of View

“Are you joking, Titus? Dinner date? Hindi pa ako nakakasama sa mga date na ganyan ganyan, ha? Pero I’ll try to ask my mother if pwede akong pumunta dito sa tinatawag mong dinner date.” Halos rumolyo na ang mga mata ko dahil sa pinagsasasabi ni Titus.

“Mukha ba akong clown para mag-joke, Clarice? At saka ‘wag kang maging feeling. Para lang magkaroon ng world peace. Tss.” Nasa labas kami ng classroom. Tapos na ang klase namin. 3’o clock na ang oras ngayon.

“Alam kong hindi ka clown, pero bakit mo naman kailangang gawin ‘to, Titus?” nagtataka nanaman ako sa sinasabi niya. Dinner date? Alam kong may gusto siya sa akin, I never expected na magdidinner date kami?

***

 

That’s it for now. Sneak peek only, don’t be that high, HAHAHA!

Kill or be Killed?

Everyday in our world, there will be impossibly no one who doesn’t die. Dying because of crime and health condition. But the health condition is not the point about this post. It’s about crime.

Why demand death? Everyone who dies, have their family that raises a poster that says “Justice for Chuchuchu” and that’s not because of the killer. Killer. The root word was kill, and suffix -er. They wanted the killer to die. They demand death. They want justice. But that’s what they call JUSTICE?

Justify. The word justice is to justify. The meaning of justify–show or prove to be right or reasonable. But death? Is that what they called Justice? Only people who are crazy will beg for death of the killer.

And for killers, why kill? Did they do something to you that offended your pride? Is that what you call respect? Well, you don’t respect them. They were just living with their family, happily and peaceful. Then you want to kill him/her? People say, just make a peaceful talk. Why kill? Do you have opportunities to make a ‘peaceful and kill friendly talk’?

And for those who are craving their tummies–those who anted death to the killer. Huh? Are you really out of your mind? Are you crazy? If you want them to die, it’s like you killed them too. Sounds quite crazy for you right? It’s because you’ve been that ‘OA’.

WORRYING does not take away tomorrow’s TROUBLES, it takes away today’s peace.

NOTE: for those readers who were affected with this, sorry. It’s just my opinions. I hope someday justice and peace will meet your hearts 🙂